8-31 Too Sexy

Found this T-shirt logo on  "chemo chicks" website last night. 

8-30 What's it gonna cost?

This is lifted from another blog where the guys says a few Accountants  sit in the back office and make this stuff up.....  
“First chemo? Ooh! Tell him $50 grand. No – how about just under? Yeah, like, $48-something. Yeah, that’ll be great! Oh, I wish I could see his face when he gets the bill! Man, is he going to need a drink. Tell me what he says, ok?”
 My chemo clocks in at $9401.00 per serving and since I had already looked up some of the prices I was not totally shocked. Still as the bills pile up and I see what gets paid, what doesn't and how much is negotiated down from the charge to what is actually paid to the Dr's I am continually surprised and dismayed by the whole system. I'm sitting on 20k in denied claims (that does not count the 5k I have already paid in deductibles). I'm taking deep breath's and letting it go. 
Most of the Dr's offices help me file and re-file the claims.  Today I got a letter from the lab that did the DNA test ($3340.00 rejected by insurance). It says:  "Our goal is to help you receive the insurance plan benefits to which you are entitled. We believe that your insurance plan did not process your claim properly and the claim can be appealed" etc etc...Love it!
So I'm not complaining, I'm taking a step back and  waiting patiently to see how it all works out. 

8-29 More Food on the Brain

Still digesting (ha ha) as much information as I can about food plans and nutrition. I  have 100% control over what I eat so it makes sense to me that I have a lot of influence on the impact of my eating plan  as it relates to my treatment. Unfortunately the Docs don't talk too much about that relationship so I'm digging and questioning as much as I can. 


On another food note, I read this really interesting article about the mind/gut connection and how comfort food seems to activate a spot in you brain. 
http://www.flanderstoday.eu/content/food-thought

My wig is so shiny and clean and it smells like shampoo now instead of plastic. Like normal hair it has it's annoying bits. There are stragglers around the face. But for a good reason, a wig has to cover that little spot around you ear that is a bald alert. 

8-27 & 28 Weekend

Lazy days as far as hair this weekend. I like wearing it  natural around the house.
 I finally made it back to acupuncture yesterday for the first time in a few months. I hope she can fire up those meridians and get some qi moving. 


Someone told me I need to smile in my photos so this morning I tried. All I had to do was think about her goofy smile when she won last night at Bingo! 

I didn't win anything but Bingo is always a fun night out. 

Sunday's agenda is the usual: house cleaning, cooking for the week and some yoga later today. 

8-26 Vegetarian

Vegetarian: an old Native American word for Bad Hunter

I've got food on the brain.  I'm doing some research on the Cancer super foods, what to eat and what to avoid. There are also some interesting ideas on what to eat the day before, during and after chemo. The bad cells react to certain things so some people advise ways to starve or load the cells at the correct time so that the drugs can be the most effective. Round three coming up this week, I may experiment. 

Today's scarf is a re-wear so I am showing you the Buff wrap I carry in my yoga bag and wear as a beanie. It is super soft and comfortable. I'm also sporting  a temp tattoo, everyone can use a little heart.

8-25 washed an ready

Here she is washed and ready. A quick soak in shampoo, long rinse and another soak in some conditioner. Air dry and comb out, it all falls right back into place. (It kind of smelled like plastic to me before but now it smells like shampoo)
Of course it is "special"  wig shampoo and conditioner and even a special comb but nothing compared to my former arsenal of hair products. 


I got 9 hours of sleep last night and I'm still tired. Half of my eye lashes have fallen out, my eyes seem red and puffy to me but that might be allergies? Hard to tell. 

8-24 Life is Weird

 

I love this card my neighbor gave me. I have it pinned up at work. 

Today is day 70 of 100 degrees or above for this year in Austin, we've broken a record previously set in 1925. Temps for the rest of the week look about the same. 

Physical Therapy last night. Almost back to full range of motion in my right arm. No handstands yet but down dog feels  pretty good. 

Wig day 3, you know what I look like! Tonight I'll try washing it and see what happens....

8-23 Two in a Row

I'm wearing the same hair two days in a row. Think anyone will notice? 

I did add a pair of earrings, nothing dangly that might get caught! 

Most important wig rule; do not get near an open flame (no romantic candles, no fireworks, no cooking with gas, no fireplace, no BBQ's and I guess no smoking)

8-22 School's In

Expecting extra traffic this morning as the kids all go back to school. 


The wig comes with a whole list of do's and don'ts. I'll post more later. Still trying to get used to it (over the ear or under the ear and silly things like that)

8-21 Going All the Way

Took the Bic to it today. It's pretty smooth.  (Michael did the honors)

I thought it was funny how the lights above the fireplace frame my head in the second photo. Totally unintentional. 

8-20 Counter Revolution

Today I packed away my bathroom basket of hair goodies. Goodbye hairdryer, curling iron, banana clips, leave in conditioners and bobby pins. Banished to the cupboard for a few months. 

Hello scarves, beanies,  hats and trusty lint roller. 

I kept a bottle of shampoo in the shower that will last at least a year. (yes, you still have to wash your bare head).

I'm headed to yoga. I haven't had the energy the past few days so I'm looking forward to it. 

8-19 Two Times a charm

It usually takes me two tries to get the scarf tied the way I want. I have to leave enough tail at the side to tie off. Also you want it snug enough to stay put but not too tight or else you suffer from a feeling the same as  when your pony tail is too tight. (Phantom pony tail head)

This is the navy blue cotton gauzy scarf and some big earrings (not as big as the ones I took off yesterday, I'll start with these and see how it goes.)

8-18

The earlier I get up the more things I find to do. 

started with a gray cotton skull cap and headband but it felt too tight (did my head swell?) so I switched to the green scarf. Started with a pair of the new BIG earrings but laughed at myself and had to go for the smaller ones. 

8-17

What you see depends on what you're looking for

--Anonymous 

This gauzy lightweight Fall colored scarf looked just as good as a belt as it did around my neck and on my head. Love it!  (Gift from L. thx)

8-16 Double Header

Light weight Black beret with daisy chain trim purchased at Top This Salon. 

Some head covers do well with a bit of structure or lift underneath and all the shops sell wig liners and hat liners and headbands so you can double-up when needed. 

I using  an old cycle helmet liner that I've had for years. It is light weight, draw-string cinch and wicks moisture. 

Nala complements today's outfit

yes, I'm wearing more make-up than I used to. Can you tell?

8-15 A good hair day

Felt like a  good day to try hair. 
Biggest rule to remember when wearing a wig; Don't Touch it!
I'll pretend I'm a movie star, ever notice how they don't really touch their hair, they maybe use the tip of their pinkie finger  to lift a strand away from their face. 

**back-up scarf is in my purse!

8-14 The Learning Curve

Yesterday a friend asked me why I didn't call the Dr. when I got the migraine. It never occurred to me? Sounded lame when I said it out loud but it's true.  The Docs have given me a  huge list of  "things that I might feel, things that might happen, possible consequences of the meds" . When the pain started I just threw it into that pile of oh well, this is what they said might happen. It never dawned on me that I could make a phone call and possibly get relief. 


It'a a giant learning curve and I need to remind myself to step back and try to look at it from a new point of view every now and again. (Thank you A for your perspective!)

I picked up this gray cotton patterned scarf a few weeks ago in Belgium. It's big enough to wrap, it has a texture that helps add lift and visual interest and it is a plain simple go-with-everything color.
BTW, today I feel great!

8-13 Tuned In and buzzed

Migraine hangover.Today I have a buzz in my ears and can hear the hum of every electrical object in the house. It's like a super power. 
Speaking of buzzing. Lots more hair came out today in the shower. I have  bald patchy spots now but I'm not sure I'm ready  to shave it all the way to the scalp yet. 
If I get out of the house today it will be for a restorative yoga class, otherwise I plan to stay put. 

Look close and see lots of gray, can't say I'm sorry to see them go. 

Aug 12 Loaded for Bear

The phrase “loaded for bear” means you are well armed to meet any problem.

In the days of muskets, the gunpowder charge could be adjusted depending on the size of the animals you expected to encounter in the wilderness.

So if you were hunting bear, or simply entering their territory, you went into the bush well armed with an extra charge loaded into your musket.

Today I am "Loaded for Bear". My chemo cocktail is swirling around and doing some serious  damage killing everything in it's path. In addition to the chemo cocktail I am full of meds that are intended to hold of the worst of the side effects of the chemo. It is a wicked combination! 


I wrote that last night and intended to add the photo this morning then leave for work. However like so many wicked cocktails this one stopped me in my tracks. I've been nursing a migraine all day. I slept in till about 2:00pm then landed on the sofa for the rest of the afternoon. Sorry, no photo, tomorrow will be a better day. 
Cassandra

Aug 11, What's in the Bag?

 Today's agenda: Chemo #2

What's packed in my chemo bag. Pillow, blanket, a beanie for my head,  socks, book, magazine, gum and hard candies, a cereal bar, a big bottle of water, my iPod.

Kind of like I packed for a long flight except the seats in the chemo room are better!

Sat out on the deck this morning, thought it appropriate for my "natural-look" photo. The shiny bit you glimpse by my left collarbone is saran wrap. Yep. An hour before an appointment that will use the surgical port  I apply lidocaine cream to numb the skin and cover it with saran wrap so it sinks in. (medical tip #16)

Aug 10

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere. ~Frank A. Clark

repeat of the scarf I wore Saturday. It is 35" square. It has two patterns, one on each half. Paisley swirls and 60's looking deco circles. When my tying skills improve I may be able to show each of them. 

Aug 9, Cancer Goodie Bags

 Back in May, three days after my diagnosis I was at ARA for a full day's schedule: Bone Scan, CT Scan and an MRI. I’ve never even had an x-ray so I had prepared for a long strange day.  A volunteer was circling around the waiting room helping people fill out their paperwork and answering questions. She asked if I had been recently diagnosed and what kind of Cancer. When I told her she gave me a pink and black BCRC tote bag full of stuff. I immediately texted about 5 friends with “OMG They gave me a cancer goodie bag!”  They all texted back “what did you get?”

At the time I found it terribly funny in a black humor sort of way. I mean really, a goodie bag when you’ve just found out you have cancer? 

Yesterday at the LGFB class I scored a big bag of make-up and lots of tips like how to draw your eyebrows after your real ones fall out. I still find the humor. I mean really; these super thick eyebrows that I have tweezed, bleached and waxed for over 20 years are going to fall out and I’ll have to draw on new ones with a pencil!? 

Today's scarf is a 34" square polyester blend in olive green colors (matches my slacks) And I am wearing some make-up!


ps. I haven't plucked in a few days now.....

Aug 8 Monday Monday

My eyes are puffy and irritated but the lashes have not started to fall out yet. Allergies? I don't think anything could possibly be blooming in the Texas drought. 


Today I have a class called "Look Good Feel Better" sponsored by the American Cancer Society at the Oncology center. Rumor has it they give us lots of make-up samples and teach us how to draw our eyebrows and things like that. 


My head scarf is a long thin rectangle, 100% cotton  with colored flowers printed on it and I am wearing some big silver hoop earrings.

August 7th still runnin'

Made it around the 4mi loop at Town Lake this morning in a respectable 52 minutes. This seems to be the high energy point in the cycle. I wore a "Buff" multicolored headband that coordinated nicely with my shirt,  some pink tinted shades and lots of sunscreen! 

I did get a few looks but since I still have the stubble and I'm out exercising and I live in   Austin  I'm sure they are thinking  one of three things. 

A. I'm another Austin Hipster

B. I'm in a cult

C. I'm Gay

What do ya'll think? 

Later today I'm  meeting up with some friends who like to shoot  pool at a Biker Bar. I'll have to look through my Harley gear for an appropriate tuff-chick look. 


PS. after a few e-mails and texts I think we can agree I am a Gay Austin Hipster in a Cult. Trifecta!

August 6 2011

Paisley and swirly print polyester scarf tied to the side. I forgot to measure it before putting it on but I'll try to do that next time. It is a square shape. I wanted something simple as it will be on and off a few times today. 


Today's agenda: Wig fitting at "Top This" and an afternoon  yoga seminar "Finding your True Voice". The seminar is at YY Westagate so I will definitely  cruise through Central Market while I am out that way. Also hoping to  get to Sam Moon to shop for large earrings. (I'm told they are a must have accessory to balance a look. 


Nala Cat and I sat out on the deck this morning before the sun popped out and scarred us back inside. We like to watch the birds and squirrels put on a show. So far she  hasn't been inclined to jump into the trees or chase after them. 


photo#2 The gorgeous flowers Lupita gifted me at my shave party. 
video link to shave party http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AuKQBwPuLM
Huge thanks to Jackie for her editing talents and sense of humor!

Top This Salon on Burnet Road. http://www.topthisaustin.com/
 Stylist Bonnie and my girlfriends Diane and Lupita helped me a choose a great wig here. Now it has to be fitted to my hair-less head. 


Yoga Yoga http://www.yogayoga.com/
I practice here almost every day. 

August 5 2011

Yesterday's mail brought me a fantastic gift. Three head covers from Buff. (Thank you kathleen, I love them). If you've never seen a Buff here is a link to their website. All you REI members and LL Bean-ers will recognize them. 

http://www.buffusa.com/buffusa/wear/whats_a_buff

I didn't make it to BBB last night to shop for pillow cases so I opted for a Buff to sleep in. It kept my itsy hairs from grabbing the pillow each time I shifted. 

Today I am sporting a scarf wrapped into a turban-ish thing. Yesterday at work I did get a little chilly with the AC. 

My scarf is navy blue 100% cotton and a bit crinkly in texture. I've had it for a few years. It was a "summer" scarf in Belgium. (they wear scarves all year long there). 

To wrap I started with a short end at the left, twisted the long end up and over the front and then  back to meet the short side with a simple knot leaving the ends dangling. 

Going Natural 8-4-2011

The new me!
Thanks to everyone who shared my exciting evening and Michael for being so skilled with the clippers. We stopped short of a full shave. Everyone agreed this was a good look while it lasts. In the meantime a lint roller is my friend. (yep that's right, you take a lint roller to you balding head to catch the strays as they come out) 


Today's agenda: work, physical therapy and a stop at Bed Bath & Beyond for a satin pillow cover. (I heard they feel great when you are rockin' the shiny head) 

Hair today, Gone tonight

 This morning gobs of hair came out in the shower, enough to create a craft project. (that thought came and went)
Although I don't think any of you will see a difference in the photo posted I'd estimate 1/4 to 1/3 of it is gone.  I've never had thin hair and if it stayed just like this I think I would like it but alas I am looking down at myself now and see strands covering my shirt and I think I've left a trail coming down the stairs.  


Tonight = THE SHAVE! 

oops, I need to change the date stamp on my camera.

August 2-2011

Welcome everyone and thanks for checking in. 
Blog day #1


Twelve days post Chemo. 
The hair has started to shed right on schedule. Last night during yoga practice I was wearing a pony tail. When we did bridge pose and the back of my head rubbed against the mat I felt some easily pull out. This morning when I ran my hands through it I felt a little give  but later this afternoon  I was easily getting 10-20 pieces each time. As I sit here writing I am compulsively pulling at it and I've grown an impressive little  pile-o-hair on the desk next to me. 


It's not too freaky. As part of my hypothyroidism I am used to having lots of  strays  when  I style it in the morning. My hair is (was) so thick I used to pay  to have it thinned at the stylist!
PS. It doesn't hurt

 8-1-2011  7:00 A.M