12-30 The list of NO

The  list of NO for Radiation
NO
soaps, lotions, perfumes, gels or creams (other than the 2 prescriptions)
under-wire bra, preferably no bra at all
heating pads 
ice packs
sun bathing
preferably no activity that would cause sweating in the area
antiperspirant  
I am using Cetaphil cleanser in the shower, they also say plain ivory soap is ok but I already had the Cetaphil on hand as a face cleanser. I use my normal shower gel on the rest  of my body. 
I am using Tom's of Maine natural deodorant. I've tried the Crystal and Toms before and they don't really do the job for me but knowing how bad antiperspirants are in general I think that after these enforced 8 weeks I will be over the hump of dislike and converted to the natural. 
Other naturals: I've slowly been using up or giving away all the cleaning products in the house. I'm looking at recipes for making my own natural cleansers. 

 A little more growth up top but the front is still lacking. (and all of it is super fine and soft!) No new eyebrows or leg hair yet. 
Wow, I just compared this photo to the 12-24 photo showing the new hair and it has doubled. Time to find a hair stylist! 

12-29 From cross your heart to cross your fingers

This is the first time in my life I have walked out the door  without wearing a bra. (I'm wearing a camisole). I don't even go bra-less around the house or on weekends. I prefer to lift and separate. (and if you grew up in my era you know that is a reference to those Playtex cross your heart bra commercials, way before they showed super sexy Victoria's Secret commercials) 

A few years ago when I was going to the gym at 6:00am I forgot to take a bra to change into after showering. I had to flip a coin between going home to get one or stopping at the 24 hours Walmart near work to buy one. 
Today I'm wearing a shirt that has some distracting details and a colorful scarf and earrings. Most of you know I sit in a cube all day facing a computer screen so it's doubtful anyone will notice. Crossing my fingers now......
12-30 adding a comment....I made it all day bra-less (although I confess I did have one in my purse as an emergency back-up)

12-28 $504.00 would you buy it?

Not science fiction, it is real and coming to a pharmacy in Europe in a few months. 

BRUSSELS – The fight against breast cancer is taking one giant leap forward with a simple ‘do it yourself’ blood test, capable of detecting breast cancer with stunning accuracy.

Only 7 minutes after blood has been drawn, a woman will know with 91 percent accuracy whether or not she has breast cancer.

The test was developed by Belgian medical scientist Kurt Baeten and could well make today’s mammogram exams obsolete.

There is one major drawback to the use of blood tests to diagnose breast cancer and that is the cost associated with the new technique. Mammograms are thus far about six times cheaper than the newly developed blood test method.

A simply do it yourself at home blood test could detect breast cancer with 91 percent accuracy. 

An average mammogram tests costs insurance companies around $84 while the blood test would run about $504. However, considering the long term benefits of the blood test combined with more women opting to use the blood test versus a mammogram, medical labs are convinced the price will eventually drop down.

Those who are pro the blood test state however that the cost is justified based on facts that the test is risk-free, extremely accurate, fast, reliable, efficient and user friendly.

Baeten and his partner Grooters are starting up the company Mediaspec, with the hopes of bringing the test to the general market as quickly as possible.

“It’s a matter of lives!” said Grooters. The researchers are hoping to have the ‘do it yourself’ test available in stores come February 2012. Belgium and the Netherlands will be the first countries to offer the test to women.

Despite breast cancer having become one of the most curable cancers, especially when the tumor(s) are being discovered early on, it is still one of the top death sentences for women

12-24 Back to the hair

Back to the title of this blog; 365 head-shots.  Time to focus on The Hair.
Here are a few shots showing the new growth. 
The scary part is that nothing is growing in the front/top.......it appears I have a 2 inch receding hair line at this point. Wonder when that will resolve itself? May have to buzz the rest until the front can catch up(!?)
Its all very soft and fine. There are lots of silvery grays mixed in with the black. 

Wishing you all safe travels and a relaxing weekend with friends and family. I'm headed to the neighbors tonight for  tamales and margaritas and tomorrow morning cooking brunch with my son and his girlfriend. 

12-23

I believe Dr. Seuss  says it best.

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

12-21 Port Removal

This is what is looked like while in position

At the surgeons office we took some photos,I had a mini enterauge, the girls from my department at  work  came with me to watch.First he numbed the spot then cut along the same  line he used to insert it in June. The thing was actually held in place with a few stitches into my pec muscle so he clipped those and then it was 5 minutes or so of tugging and a few jokes about alien movies and voilà 

I didn't see much since it was just out of my line of vision and I had a surgical drape on me. He did offer me a mirror so I could watch but I passed on that. I asked if he would have to stitch the vein where the tube was inserted  and he explained why they don't have to but I don't remember exactly what he said...maybe it closes up on itself when it was pulled out??? 

Here's  my new stitch job, it will look better in a few days when the swelling goes down.He covered it up with surgical glue (love that stuff) so I can shower. 
Here's the good Doctor. He performed well under the pressure of an  audience. 

And here's the souvenir

While I had it here at home I took a good look at it. The black rubbery part in the middle is dense. That's where they would stick the needle in for the IV drip/chemo. I got out a pin and took a poke at it and it is HARD to push into. Those nurses who did it to me had to be fearless and the needle they used must have been wicked! 

12-20

Cat investigating the dino planters.

Monday's photo

Tonight's photo.  Tomorrow the Port will be removed. I'm looking forward to that appointment. 

12-19 Radiation Therapy and the machine

Posting late tonight. Busy day. Trying to get to work early and taking short lunches to make up appointment times. I did take a photo this morning but I don't know where I put the camera.
Here's the scoop on what radiation does for me. don't miss the video links below showing what a treatment session looks like. 

Radiation Therapy 

Radiation therapy — also called radiotherapy — is a highly targeted, highly effective way to destroy cancer cells in the breast that may stick around after surgery. Radiation can reduce the risk of breast cancer recurrence

Radiation therapy uses a special kind of high-energy beam to damage cancer cells. (Other types of energy beams include light and x-rays.) These high-energy beams, which are invisible to the human eye, damage a cell’s DNA, the material that cells use to divide.

Over time, the radiation damages cells that are in the path of its beam — normal cells as well as cancer cells. But radiation affects cancer cells more than normal cells. Cancer cells are very busy growing and multiplying — 2 activities that can be slowed or stopped by radiation damage. And because cancer cells are less organized than healthy cells, it's harder for them to repair the damage done by radiation. So cancer cells are more easily destroyed by radiation, while healthy, normal cells are better able to repair themselves and survive the treatment. 

 I am treated with a machine called a  linear accelerator.It  is very high tech, it looks like something out of star wars.They dim the lights and play nice music. 

First video, a regular guy made a video of one of his sessions. I am in the same machine as this one but mine does not go down below me for treatment, I get the top and side shots.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbCfQRzocjI

Second video is a very detailed tutorial made by a treatment center. Tells you specifically about breast treatment  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFyPZgRbyvE

Prep for Radiation

Before beginning any sessions I had  an appointment to make my body mold and get xrays in an MRI machine.  I also met with the Radiation Oncologist and his nurse. They outlined the treatment plan (33 sessions M-F), the care of the area and the side effects. 


Making the mold. They took me to the MRI machine and had me lay on a blue foam/air pad that goes from just below my shoulder blades on the back to above my head. I was asked to turn my head to the side, away from the treatment area, and bring both arms above my head. Then they released a valve on the foam pad and it molded to the shape I was in. 
I was then loaded into the MRI machine and the took xrays and scans. This lasted about 10 minutes. 


Each time I go for a treatment I use the mold to keep me in position. They also x-ray to align me before each treatment. My arms go numb and the room is cold but otherwise I feel nothing during the treatment. 



the cost of the visit on my set -up day 
$510.00 for the office visit with the Dr. 
$4612.00 for the mold, x-rays and MRI

12-16 Crafting for the Holidays

 o

I used to craft. At some point I learned that it was prudent to purchase the finished product vs. purchase all the parts and pieces and try to make it myself. Every now and again I'm inspired to give it another go.


My friend and I were at the Blue Genie Bazaar over the weekend. After flipping a few price tags we decided "we could do that".  Here is an e-mail I got from her a day later. (Notice the numbered list, she is a classic type A) (and hey, if you're reading this..you know I love you and all your quirks!)

I figured out a few things last night:

1. I think I bought the wrong type of paint for the coasters and for the dino.  The dino is going to take a TON of coats with the paint I bought and it's water based so it's not really gripping to the rubber well.  It's also sliding off of the tile and I think that's b/c of the water base too.  

2. It might look good if we paint the coasters black.  I have a neutral background for the ones I have and the photos look really out of place b/c they don't match the tan background.

3.  Photos are really thick and it's hard to get them to lay flat on the tile.  The type of tile I got has a slightly raised center (the edge around the tile slopes lower than the rest) and the photo won't grip the edges.  The mod podge won't create a thick enough barrier to smooth the edges of the photo.  So I have two really sharp coasters. :(

Do you think spray paint will work for the dinos or do you think it'll eat the rubber?  Should I get ceramic paint for the tiles? 

The next day I got a bulletin update, she had used a different paint on the dino, sanded the backs of the photos to thin them then used binder clips to hold them down while the modge podge dried. Success. I'll give her another day to work out every last kink then we'll get together and I can reap the benefits of all her hard work.She did mention that "her house looks like a craft bomb exploded" but I'm sure it's all sparkly clean by now. 

12-15 Change in the schedule

Radiation starts today. Scheduling is a nightmare. (Sadly) the Oncology center is booked solid. I was holding out for an early morning or late afternoon time slot so I could stop in coming or going from work. 4:45 opened up next  Monday but because it is a short week they requested I start tomorrow. Doesn't make sense to me but they know what they are doing. 
The sooner I start the sooner I finish. A few extra days off around the holidays but otherwise I am down for 6 1/2 weeks of treatment. Monday through Friday. 
The center is about 4 miles from home and 8 miles from work.


Now for all the zingers that come with the treatment. 
Zinger #1.  To bra or not to bra. 
They ask you to not wear a bra for 8-10 weeks. They told me to go buy a few cotton camisoles to wear in place of a bra. I pictured 10 weeks of the  Uniboob, you know when your boobs get smooshed together in a non lift-and-seperate sports bra?  When I asked again to be specific the nurse told me I could not get the camisole that has the little shelf bra included. Now I'm picturing something worse than the uniboob. How do you keep things together with just a loose camisole? What can I possibly wear to cover that? 
It is winter but that doesn't mean much in Texas and I don't really have many loose blob-like tops.  I feel better when I look good. I do not want to schlep around all blob-boob for 8-10 weeks. 
This weekend I will be bra shopping, looking for a compromise. The nurse conceded that these days while women work and go through treatment we need better choices and I am allowed to wear some kind of soft, loose,  all cotton bra-thing for work as long as I take it off the rest of the day. 
As soon as I won that point I started to wonder what will I wear to yoga? 

Photo today: making the most of my last day of lift-and-separate.

12-14 TV trauma

I was fixing dinner last night with the TV on. 
I heard this commercial come on and I thought it was a hoax, like a Saturday Night Live commercial. But it was real. Do people  buy these things? I've heard of snugglies but "Forever Lazy" as the name of a product? Amazing. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S2p7AiNX9g
here are the 2 best lines from the commercial 
--its  oversize for that baggy comfortable lazy day perfect pajama feeling
--zippered hatches in front and back for great escapes when duty calls (WC)


I was watching American Psycho on some oddball channel. It is a fantastically weird movie from the 80's. The soundtrack alone makes it worth watching. Featuring Christian Bale and  Reese Witherspoon. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144084/

The painters are done but they did not use the low VOC paint as I requested. The house smells.  And that brings me to complaining. Do you or don't you?  Do I make a stink about it?(bad pun). It's not like they can un-do the smell. It's 60 some degrees outside and I'm going to leave a few windows open. 

12-13 Here Come the Fuzz

The teeniest bit of baby fine fuzz has appeared on top of my head. Legs are still hair free. 

12-8 Charity

I haven't done much charity work since moving back to the USA last summer but I always try to sponsor a family at Christmas. My family is not big on gift giving (I'll post that tomorrow). And aside from my Son I don't really have to shop for anyone. 
Sponsoring a family with young children allows me to shop, choose gifts, wrap them and deliver them and I can be a part of the holiday madness for an afternoon or so. 
The Charity I go to is the Christmas Bureau Austin. I've donated there for years. They got a really late start this year opening just this week. If you are looking for a good cause please consider helping. You don't even have to shop. You could donate a day of your time to help sort, wrap and deliver gifts.  
http://www.cbofaustin.org/

12-7 Crafting the holiday

We all know and love http://www.etsy.com/
be careful or you will have something fit for http://www.regretsy.com/  (where DIY meets WTF)


For you locals here in Austin, consider shopping at the Blue Genie Bazaar in Lincoln Village. Now open 10-10 daily. This is local artists selling their work in a cooperative setting. Happens once a year. http://bluegenieartbazaar.com/


and because it is a cold cold morning here I leave you with this fun coat from upcycled sweaters.....from Etsy, methinks it is a bit of a regretsy but the artist says she is always sold out! 

12-6 Welcome to Austin

Welcome to Austin, Allergy capitol of the south...
 Back with a vengeance. I am not feeling so great. Would like to go bald today because the idea of something tight on my head does not sound so great. Will wear the softest cap I can find. 

Met with the Endocrinologist  yesterday. It will take a few months of trying different combinations of medicine (and few blood tests) but I look forward to getting my thyroid back in balance. 
I'm upstairs in the  office today. We have a painter coming to work on the downstairs ceiling so I cleared the walls and moved some things out of his way. 

12-5 Dream

I had a dream I was shaving my legs. I woke up. Still no hair, not even a stubble. 

Braved the crowds yesterday at a department store to get a birthday gift for my Mom. Will try to get it in the post today (sorry Mom I may be a day late but it's on the way!)


Shout out to the girls at Rogue Running  who braved the cold and rain to run the White Rock Marathon yesterday. You guys are amazing! 


It finally feels like "winter" in Austin. I'm still working through old photos and having such fun looking at them all. This is my son, Michael, at age age 3  December 1989. It was a Charlie Brown tree for us that year.

12-3 Rainy days

Rick is in town for a few days and he brought the rain and cooler temps with him. Also some nice Belgian chocolates so I'm not complaining. 
 Good time for movies and projects around the house and maybe out to the Saxon Pub for music later tonight. 

11-30 First Tat

I got my first ink yesterday. They are called radiation tattoos and they are used to position the beam. Three tiny little pin pricks in deep blue. 

The red is magic marker just to help them get me aligned. 
I met the Radiation  Dr and got the details on the procedure and scheduling. Lots of information, I will share with you all as I go along. They agreed to a reprieve for the month of December and I start in January. As for trying to bargain with him to get less than 6 weeks; that was a no-go. He says it is "all or nothing". 


Meantime the port-a-cath can come out and I've scheduled  the removal with the surgeon who put it there. (Merry Christmas to myself)
If you don't know what it is here is the link http://www.bardaccess.com/port-powerport.php
It is implanted under my skin near the collar bone on my left side.  

11-29

This afternoon I see the Radiation Oncologist, get blood work, visit with my regular Oncologist and see someone in research. I also have PT after work. It's going to be a long afternoon.
In other news, no new hair growth.I'm asking around to find a stylist who will be willing to transition me through the coming year (and maybe charge me for a guy's cut instead of women's full price!) 

11-28 Post Holiday

I busied myself around the house all weekend and resisted the temptation to "shop the sales" 
Michael and I did trim a tree out on 360. People started on them early this year and that spot is now completely filled.
 The Papa Noel tree tents are up and selling. I can't decide if I am going to put up a tree inside. We are supposed to have work done on the ceiling downstairs that includes repainting so the whole thing has to be covered in plastic and some of the furniture moved......

10 Vodka and closets

I was still thinking about the vodka pie crust here are a few more odd uses.
http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/latest/vodka-uses-460424

Spending my long weekend cleaning out closets. When I saw the photo boxes I had to stop and go through them. This is me in May 1969, a few months before my 6th birthday.

11-24 Turkeys and Vodka

Here's a photo of me at 8:30am prepping my side dishes for later today. I'm only making sweet potatoes and pear crisp but knowing that the oven will be on I am also throwing together a  spinach quiche and some zucchini gratin for myself. I never learned how to cook "just one thing". Partly from my frugal Pennsylvania Dutch upbringing and partly from my restaurant  background. However I do find cooking very therapeutic and don't mind the clean-up either. 
Back to the bottle of vodka on the counter. I found this pie crust recipe all over the net a few years ago. Here's a link to one of my favorite food bloggers...she gives you tons of detailed photos.  I've used this crust recipe many times with great results. Even with wheat flour. 
http://smittenkitchen.com/2007/11/pie-crust-101/

The camera is on top of the fridge for this angle. 
The other night I was in the grocery store after yoga and passed by a cart where a little girl was sitting and I heard her say "pirate". I thought she was looking at a box of cereal but then I noticed she was pointing to me. (I had come from yoga and had on the pink bandanna I'm wearing here).


Second photo here courtesy of my friend Saira who made these too-cute cupcakes for her daughter's class. 

Hoping all of you have time for family and friends today.

11-23 Choosing Insurance for 2012

It's the time of year to make insurance elections for 2012. You can bet I am going to choose the "good plan" this time around. 
a few comparisons; This should cut my costs quite a bit.

2011             2012

Deductible               $1500.00       $200.00

Out of pocket Max    $5000.00       $1000.00

Co-Pay                    $30.00          $20.00

Coverage                 80%              70%
out of paycheck       $480.00      $1536.00

Wishing you all safe travels and an enjoyable holiday weekend. I'm excited abut having 4 days with no appointments and extra time for yoga. 

11-21 A dozen lashes

 I have about a dozen lashes on my top lids and 5each on the bottoms. Eyes still a bit red and tearing. Hair should start growing back in 8-10 weeks. 

yep, that's a sleeveless top. We've had a few warm days the past week. 

11-20 Walk this way

Setting goals. Told myself I could walk 3 miles in an hour this morning. Did it in 48 minutes. Town Lake makes the time fly by and the warm weather helps too. 

11-18 Thanksgiving early

Thanksgiving pot luck lunch today at work. We've had this tradition for years at Bay and it's nice to share food and sit and eat as a group. We're booking more orders now for early next year and all of us are stumbling with entering 2012! 

New Beanie, Thanks Diane!

11-17 Be Happy

"For every minute you are angry, you loose sixty seconds of happiness"
Ralph Waldo Emerson
ok I'm a realist so I might re-word that as sixty seconds of potential happiness......

This photo makes me happy....super cool DIY rope rugs. 


and here's another...some yard art

11-16 Second Opinion

Some of you know how sideswiped** I was by my Dr.'s news last week that I now  need 30 rounds of radiation. She says it's always been on the program for me but I seriously don't recall discussing it. Maybe I was too focused on the Chemo?
Anyhow, now that the rush of the last 6 months is fading I feel like it's time to get another opinion,  possibly other options or at the very least a different point of view. If I have to work with an Oncologist for the next five years I want to feel like we are communicating. 
Today I'll see a different Dr. and see how it goes. 


**for "sideswiped" insert: Furious, Ticked Off, Pissed, Upset, Shocked....

11-14 What were they thinking?

Good intentions but slightly misguided...?


As a "survivor" I got another cancer goodie bag for the 5k. 
Contents: 
*pink shopping bag
*drawstring sports bag
*pink T (other race participants got white)
*pink Hat
*a packet of coffee
*a packet of tea bags
*a ceramic "muffin" thing-a-ma-bob 
*a mauve-ish colored apron 

umm, yep, that's right.  ceramic muffin thingie. 
 Pandora is a jewelry company. So why the dorky references to baking and cooking. 


here are a few  things I would have rather had:
*a trashy/fluff magazine for all those hours spent in Dr. offices
*a 15 minute neck rub or foot massage
*$5.00 coupon for Whole Foods or to Amy's or to Thundercloud or...you get my drift


This other stuff is up for grabs so if you see something you like you know where to find it. And no worries, I have no plans to re-gift these over the holidays. 

12-13 Fun Day Ahead, added to later that day

Me and some 30k other people will be downtown for the Susan Komen 5k this morning. 
We had a nice warm weekend so we get to wear shorts (Yeh!).
I'm waiting for the gang to show up and we are car-pooling. Will post more later today. 

 I did two things today I'm not supposed to....spent hours in the sun and ate raw fruit. Both felt great. 

11-12 It's a good day

It's a good day when I can take a 2 hour yoga workshop. I've only been to 2 yoga classes in the past 14 days and I'm really looking forward to this. 
Baked a coffee cake and some zucchini bread & muffins  for tomorrow's brunch. My taste is still off but my 6 year old neighbor says the zucchini muffins are good and I take that as a great compliment coming from a child! 

11-11-11 Auspicious Day?

White Blood count .9, I'm back on Levoquin for a week and no raw veg or fruit. 


Some trivia for 11-11-11
**The number eleven is the fifth prime number 
**Blackjack players love the number eleven. It usually means time to double down, but not always..

 Most predictions and opinions concerning 11/11/11 are based on or rooted in its mathematical uniqueness as a number.

11*11*11: There are three possible scenarios:

1. Something good happens— There is absolutely no scientific basis for this belief. There are no known logical premises for this belief. The belief that something good will happen is based solely on spiritualism, faith, and/or innate optimism. This belief is not necessarily a bad thing; we don’t know everything; the probability is not zero.

2. Nothing happens— This is the most likely scenario. Just because an unusual date number sequence occurs doesn’t mean that something extraordinary will happen. Usually it’s a non-event.

3. Something bad happens— There is absolutely no scientific basis for this belief. There are no known logical premises for this belief. The belief that something bad will happen is based solely on pessimism of reality. This belief is not necessarily false; after all, things are generally/usually a mess. The probability is not zero.

I LOVE that...3 possible scenarios.....something good happens, nothing happens, something bad happens.....

Live your day however you choose and see what happens. 

I'm hoping for a good day, THINGS  will happen. 

11-9 Hump Day

"By letting go it all gets done"--Lao Tzu